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o Absent Friends Drink

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o 5 Modern Limericks (updated)

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Mansize

He was big and he was tough
Sort of primitive and hairy
On first encounter his face
Was frankly somewhat scary
He could .fight and he could cuss
Run a marathon without dropping
And when he got his dander up
Boy he really took some stopping
He could swim and swim for hours
Using the crawl and the dog paddle
But nobody dare ever ask him why
He rode his Hog side saddle

He was the leader of his gang
Unchallenged year by year
His visage and his bearing
Inspiring loyalty and fear
He could quiet a room
In his suit of blackest leather
And he never wore head gear
Regardless of the weather
But he could still draw glances
When he led the pack on a ride
‘cos he did look rather strange
With both legs on one side

He fell in love eventually
Suddenly and rather hard
With a biker babe he'd met
In a bike wrecker's yard
She was blonde and she was pretty
And boy she really caught him
So much about love and life
She very quickly taught him
And she put her foot down quickly
Insisted he start to lead the rides
On his big Harley Hog
With one leg either side

She set about with determination
To change every aspect of his life
Until he finally succumbed and she
Became his one and only loving wife
And he put his Hog away
Shaved and combed his hair
And his gang suddenly felt
Very unwelcome there
But she couldn't totally tame
This one time Angel Hellion
He rode side saddle now and then
Just as an act rebellion


I ran across him years later
Still big but not quite so hairy
But over scones and tea
Didn't seem quite so scary
I asked him about his riding style
Why'd he mount his Hog that way
He grinned and looked evasive
Made me swear not to say
Then he told me his great secret
Which I did find rather absurd
I'd love to tell but I swore my oath
And I'm a man who keeps his word















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