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From Land's End to John o'Groats
The whole kingdom wide and deep
Assiduously carrying out his task
While the rest of us soundly sleep
He's the man who helps the man who
Puts those sudden holes in the road
Cheerfully and earnestly shrugging
Off this gargantuan work load
He's never been found wanting
And heavens knows he's been through it
But as his team motto clearly states
Somebody somewhere has to do it
It's a tribute to his character
He's stayed calm and rationally sane
In spite of all those ignorami
Constantly taking his name in vain
He's part of the civil service
Sent to keep us on our toes
And keep our minds off the Government‘s
Incompetence's and things such as those
As we sit there cursing in those cunning
But artfully placed dreadful traffic queues
We can't really listen to the latest news
We don't really notice that once again
 They've gone and taken us to war
We're too busy fuming and cursing
To really care much anymore
He's been so successful
Because in any other age
We'd have marched on Central London
Vehemently expressing justifiable rage
We get the politicians we deserve
That shifty despicably grubby crew
But really 'twas ever ever so
The only thing that now is new
Is that dedicated official
Unswerving from his code
 The man who helps the man who
Puts those sudden holes in the road
Here's health to his devotions
Let's hope some day he affords
To lend his masters enough cash
To buy his seat in the House of Lords





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