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Old Uncle Tom Wotsit An' All!Well blimey what a palava! I've got them up the wall! Cos every time summat goes wrong! I'm forever giving them a call! Let me see now, who's been? Ok, first there was the plumber! Who tried to sort the pipes out! But he did a flippin' runner! Then I had the sparky call! To get them wires fixed! But the wiring ruddy well blew up! And the blasted fella was all betwixed! Then the gas man came! And he tried so hard, but all in vain! To sort the central heating out! Now I'm up the wall again! Next the kitchen designer's due! To draw his plans and stuff! And then the bathroom fella will call! Oh gawd I'm feeling rather rough! Cos I didn't have no sleep ya know! Cos me ear pained me all flippin' night! And when the fellas called… I looked a horrendous sight! But then again, do I care? Nah, why the hell should I? Cos after all, when said and done! That central heating made me cry! Cos me poor ear was in agony, And the radiator went ‘bang bash' all night! And at the end of the day, what do you expect! No wonder I look a bloody sight! And then I turned the heating down, Yep, I set it to number 4… Then the bloody bedroom one went off! Does anyone know the score? Cos I'm all fed up and sobbing now! Me poor heart can't take this stress! So I need the emergency service! Well, it's them or nothing I guess! Does anyone know just what to do? Cos this radiator's got a mind of its own again!! Cos it does everything it shouldn't do! And now it's driving me insane! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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