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Barry The Electrician?


Now Barry came to see me today,
To check on all the work,
It's his job ya know!
To make sure his lads don't shirk!
Now Ben said he's the builder...
But Barry said he aint!
Well oh cor blimey, if they aint sure,
I think am gona faint!

Cos at the end of the day Barry,
I need lads who know their job!
And I was sorta wondering,
If maybe your name is Bob?
Cos Bob the builder is a little errrm, sad,
Cos he can't work too well,
And if you don't know what you're doing,
I'm gona give you hell!

Now you had the sparks come fix the leccy,
As of course you should!
But I hope they are more confidant than you,
Cos dying aint no good!
I don't wana blow up ya know,
Cos I've just got this great home!
And it would be just my bloody luck,
To end up in a mortuary home!

Now like I say, I don't wana die,
Cos I've got so much to do!
Like writing these ruddy poems for the lads,
And especially for you!
Cos if I creep a little Barry,
Do you think I have a shot…
At getting this horrid bathroom sorted,
Cos it's wrecked, a bloody lot!

And he patted me on the head you know!
And he nearly hit me tumour!
Well, he would have - had they not gone!
And hey!  That's what gives me humor!
Cos I can't bang my head ya know!
Or I may not be able to laugh!
And there'd be no more poems!
From this mad poet called Cath!

So I got a bit of a fright!
And I nearly told him so!
But then he may have fainted!
And he'd look a bloody show!
So I didn't say a word;
Cos after all, when said and done!
He only patted it lightly!
In a gesture of fun!

But Barry lad, don't do it again!
Cos I really don't wana die!
I am on a mission in life to bring laughter!
So please lad, don't make me cry!
Now this is the crack, cos I'm not a moaner,
Well, not usually anyway!
But the question I am getting is;
‘Are you getting a bathroom!!'  Every day!

Some say I am, some don't know,
And some just shake their head!
Cos it aint all that, in fact it's sad,
It really has to be said!
So can you tell the boss fella for me,
To get this sorted quick,
Cos I really need this ruddy thing,
Cos I've got nowhere to be sick!
I can't chuck up in the toilet,
Cos it's a ruddy disgrace!
It makes me sicker by the minute,
You should see me face!

It goes all green and horrible,
Well, I guess that's normal for me!
So I don't wana look any worse,
Cos I put me off me tea!
Now I have faith in all you guy's,
Cos at the end of the day!
You're all gona be world wide famous,
So its good things I need to say!

So please ask Mr Wotsit boss fella,
To try and sort this out for me!
Cos no-one knows just what's what,
Cos we are all confused you see!!
So am I, aint I, that's the question,
But none of us know the score!
But Barry, when you ask that Mr wotsit,
Will you bring him to my door?

And fix me ruddy loo!
Cos I bleach and bleach every day!
And still it's all yucky, and horrible!
And it aint my fault, I have to say!
And that ruddy tap now Barry,
I can't turn it off or on!
So I have to say, please make my day,
And get this bathroom done!

Now I said I'd make you famous!
So tell me, will this do?
This little ditty that I wrote,
Most especially for you!
          

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