Celina Adrian

26,963 poems read

"valadon"

there was an uproar
when she brought her here last
but tonight the city is quiet
I hear crickets
a heaviness
besides the thickness
that lingers in my own mind
grabs on to me tightly –
choking me
squeezing me
and as much as I lose my breath
I am at least aware
that I just need to be held -
fog blankets over palm trees
and the smog
is even thicker than that
I try to pretend that pollution in hollywood
and dangerous agendas do not affect me
but then
that would be a lie -
not many people know that I am shy
not many people know that I cry -
our last conversation
was when she told me
she would take me there
but then we end up here
the same as before
in pain
and without me knowing a damn thing
other than what I feel -
in the still of my mind
I still don’t quite understand
but she says that she is ready to start over
and I want to believe her
but history and her
moment of monetary need
has a way of
reminding me
that maybe I am only
daydreaming
again