My Beliefs Sift through All That Discourages When I am Adjacent To Happiness
Divination
It's all coming back to me
Things I was too drugged up to remember then
all those playfully
sleepless nights pretending to be satisfied
it's a little late for regretfully encountering each physical
stimuli
so I shy from embarrassment
recollecting my previous self
with a smile
It's taunting It's haunting thinking that the bad at times
out numbered the good cause I wasn't myself
but I felt wanted and anyone who wants knows how it feels to be
wanted
the generosity of drugs was mistaken for love and love was
replaced with sex and the degradation of my empty body hadn't occurred until
I tried to fill the void with reality
And reality had banished me
All the hurt faces of those I let down and they still wore
the tread marks from where I had walked on them
An I kept the bruises on my flesh from
rolling around on the floor in an enclosed attic with people
who fed me pills to keep me happy
and I was so unhappy
I was accepted but it was fake where it really mattered
My poor heart and it's crippled beat
So regaining faith Healing scratched wounds digging to resurface and
piling on top of the old ways a new dream A love that is insightful and
A hope that enables truth A truth that exposes divination and divination clears a path for
me
I am
A road bound to only different perceptions
Unveiling a better me
Each day
I am here
They use to say why can't you write about happy?Cuz' “I've never felt so alone
Now they say you write so purposefully, and I say Cuz' “I am wise beyond my years”.
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