The Battle of the Drunken Fools ( A Spoof Poem taken from The Charge of the Light Brigade by Alfred Tennyson
Out on the cloth laid the brave sixteen,together with a sauce boat and one tureen.
A bottle of champagne was chilled to the bone as it stood in a bucket all alone.
Napkins were set at all four places, so that the enemy could wipe their hungry faces.
The turkey was carved but this was no Thanksgiving, it was a table battle and it was just beginning.
The battle commenced as soon as they ate, it was like no mans land as they filled their plate.
Half a league, half a league as they grabbed spuds by the score,then half a league onward as they fell to the floor.
Sprouts to the left of them carrots to the right, boldly they went into the fight.
Into the jaws of death went the brave sixteen, but the fight was not over it was becoming a battle scarred scene.
Pepper pot to the left salt pot to the right as they charged up the table on a cloth of white.
Champagne popping like cannon balls as they volleyed and thundered then hit the walls; what a battle of these drunken fools.
Then all what was left was the battery smoke, because right through the line the tureen had broke.
The white linen cloth was used as a flag of surrender because the sauce boat got angry and went on a bender.
Cranberry sauce looked like blood on the moor when it upped and turned then lay dead on the floor.
At the sight of the carnage the maid retreated the battle was won and she had been defeated.
As for the survivors and the brave sixteen they now have to tortured in a washing up machine.
