The Black & White Poet

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you know who you are

I'm sick of the way you treat me,
The way you treat your family
the things you say
the things you do.
You call me a ‘self righteous b ! t c h'
Because I dress in pink
and denim mini skirts
and you pretend I don't go through
the same emotional s h ! t you go through
we live in the same home
possess the same blood
And have the same demons talking in our ears
and touching our souls
At the alter you hug me like I am your sister
And when it's over you remind me
that I'm this ‘self-righteous b ! t c h'
You refuse to talk about it
You only talk about it to the people who give'a  s h ! t about you
You give the title ‘most important people in your life'
to the people who don't care about you in the long run
and the people who have ALWAYS been there for you
are treated like garbage
on occasion, we act like a family
mom and dad won't change. They don't need to change.
I WANT to change. I want to get rid of the  demons
that taunt me.
But I can' t get rid of the  demons that taunt you
I pray to God in heaven
you will change
I pray to God in heaven that he will keep working on me as well
But it's a disgust in the pit of my stomach to know our love for the Lord
is half hearted
And it's a disgust in the pit of my stomach to know that our love for each other
is half hearted
And it's a disgust in the pit of my stomach to see you like this day after day
after  day
You act like nobody in the world matters but you and your feelings
…..and this boy's feelings and that boy's feelings.
You act like nobody in this world matters but you
and I know you hate yourself as much as I have hated myself
So it's an oxymoron.
SOOO  unnecessary that our lives are miserable.
I've recognized this not too long ago.
And again, I pray to God in heaven
that you come to your senses
and recognize this as well
And you stop hurting people like they are bugs
and come to realize we all share the same bloody thing
and that the same bloody demons taunt me
and just because this or that happened to you
Doesn't give you the excuse to act the way you act!!
it doesn't give you the excuse to treat good people with such hatred.
You need to learn to open up your mouth when it needs to be opened
and to shut it when it needs to be shut.
You need to learn to love the people who really do love you
because right now your life is in it for the worse and not the better of things.
you need to grow up.
you need real love.
you need to stop looking for nothing.
you need to take the happiness everybody offers you.
This is what you need, and you know it in the bottom of your heart, soul and mind.

--DAYNA e. 5/30/07




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you know who you are