This morning I received mail;
From a dearly beloved friend;
She had some words to say to me,
To try her best to make me see!
Her words were blunt and to the point!
Shot out straight from the hip!
As only she knows how to do!
I have to say; her words cut through!
She told me I was wasting time living with regret,
She told me many other things,
About this person called Jeanettee!
She told me quite a few home truths,
Her words were honest, said with truth!
I read what it was she said to me,
All I can say is; ‘strewth!'
She bared me to the knuckle!
And said these words so strong!
I sat with rueful smile, you see,
She's not known me for that long!
But in that short time of friendship,
She has sussed me to the core!
Her words, addressed to any other!
Would have had them blubbering to the floor!
But I know what she says is right!
So what's the point of a fight?
She spoke of a knowledge I can't deny!
So I won't even bother to try!
But whilst she spat out this character annihilation;
She did it with good intent!
For her words were kindly meant!
For she has seen the misery I am held within,
And is offering me a key to end this sin!
She has thrown light onto this issue!
So now it's up to me to throw away the tissue!
I have to admit her words struck home!
And brought a slight tear to my eye!
I couldn't allow any more than that!
Because self pity is something in which I lie!
Like a pig wallowing in mud,
Is how I've allowed myself to become!
Winging on about the sadness in my life!
How much I perceived myself a wronged wife!
She soon put me straight on this matter!
She wouldn't allow me to continue with mind chatter!
Told me how things are in reality!
How I am to blame for my life's insanity!
She spoke of my fear of emotions!
That I've shut down all that I could have had!
Shunned every grain of happiness!
In my rush towards being sad!
How I was harping on about dreams of my past!
Holding on to unreality!
When I should gather the wits in my head!
And live my life instead!
It is time to open my eyes,
Claim responsibility; see what I have caused!
She gave me much to think on!
For which I gave more than a momentary pause!
I know she is right, what she said is completely true!
But now the difficulty for me is;
To get myself out of this blue!
To turn around a lifetime of thinking!
And make of it something good!
To acknowledge these feelings in me,
Is something I know I should!
But it is so hard to go against tradition!
Even harder to go against the inner mental condition!
But I know this is what I have to do!
To make my life begin to be true!
Stop with the regret! Stop with the pushing away!
Stop with the excuses I use every single day!
I know she'll stand by my side,
As I attempt to climb out of the murk!
I know she'll be there at the finish!
And tell me I'm no longer a ‘bloody jerk!'
So now I have to say thank you!
To this woman called Catherine;
Because she never holds back!
With her as a friend, I will never lack!
She holds our friendship as something precious!
Because of this she was not going to let me wallow!
She held up the golden mirror,
Showed me how my life was not so shallow!
She pointed out to me;
This man in my life is good and true!
He has stood by me through hell and high water!
Been a good dad to our son and our daughter!
She has told me that he has stood firm!
Against the full storm of my ‘moods,'
How anyone else would have walked long ago!
This I truly know!
How he has cared for me over the years!
And seen to my emotional needs,
Yet I continue to leave him no hope!
Because I can't put voice to the heart that bleeds!
So it is up to me to put right the kr*p in my life!
She showed me that I am to blame!
If things are not the romantic dream for which I yearn!
I have to get it together and learn!
Learn to do things the right way!
Start again, with tomorrow as a new day!
Stop with the moaning; stop with the regret!
Wake up to the reality of this person called Jeanettee!
Learn to like myself so I can be free!
And to acknowledge the person I am!
Well I have to admit I've come a long way!
From the girl I used to be!
But still that is no excuse; for the person I am today,
Is still not working on full steam!
I know she won't allow me to continue to dream,
This woman, Catherine, is determined!
With forcefulness I can't evade!
To hold up that golden mirror!
Until I accept my life is something I've made!
So now I hold up my glass,
‘To true friendship' Is what I will toast!
To my friend Catherine; she is first class!
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