My machine has bust
Blasted thing has gone to rust
In the middle of washing
It just stopped working
For the last few days I have to admit
It has been making funny sounds
But now it's ground to a halt
It's not my fault!
I've been very careful over the years
To not overload its drum
Careful not to stuff it too full
So the motor doesn't have too much weight to pull
But how has it repaid my tender care?
Left my washing sat in a mucky puddle!
There's the two of us gathered in a huddle
Trying not to pull out our hair!
Hubby pulled it to bits
Found the culprit he thought
“Bushes” is the problem, so
New ones need to be bought!
Only cost a ‘fiver', was the claim
I went out yesterday
Showed the chap the bits I required
He provided me with new ones just the same
£14 lighter! So much for a ‘Fiver!'
I brought them home for hubby to fix
Two hours he toiled with grunts
Hoping it would do the trick!
But sad to say that machine
Just refused to do any churning
Yeah! It drained of its water,
But refused to do much of anything
Lights flashed malevolently
It just sat there looking nice and trim
And we looked at each other
With a fixed rictus grin!
Sounds like the motor's burnt out
Looks like a new model is required
So meanwhile I'm washing by hand
And I'm just so tired!
Every day since Saturday
I've done our washing in the kitchen sink
You get soaked to the skin
And my patience is wearing thin!
My hands are dry as a bone
Despite wearing waterproof gloves
They were no use at all
I just have to have a moan!
Then where to hang it is the question,
When it drips all over the floor!
Not the ideal thing you know
To hang it from the door
So I stuck the airer in the bath, let is drip itself dry
Next day washed another load
Left it hanging outside
Seeing as it was a sunny sky
But then the clouds and heavy rain came down
I'm out there swifter than a rat up a pipe!
Gathering all the wet washing
With one quick swipe!
Another three loads this morning
My arms have developed muscles!
Besides me, an all in wrestler would look small
And still the laundry is gathering!
Bedding to wash
More towels to pummel
“Smalls” to rinse through
I'm fed up! No doubt you are too!
So tomorrow, if that machine's not fixed,
I'm going to insist a new machined be installed
‘Cos if one more load by hand I have to wash
Then hubby's name in on the “The get rid of list!”
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