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Are Yellow Pages doing it on purpose?
Are they printing much smaller than before?
When I come to read it these days
I have to kneel right down on the floor!

My poor eyes won't focus on the words ahead
I squint and I blink and I shout
Why oh why are they doing it?
Whatever is it all about?

I think they are in collusion with the opticians
Make us crazy and call out in near pain
They want everyone to go in for an eye test
Choose some dazzling designer frame!

Well, I'm not going, it isn't my fault, and that's final
I've thought up a canny plan instead
I will call the operator for the number
And use the directory to act as a door wedge!








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