She's secretary to the surgeon;
Taffy is his name,
Well I can't spell the other part,
The half that's his surname!
Oooop's, I've found it on this letter,
That you've sent to me today!
It's dear Mr ‘El-Sayed!!!'
Whose about to save the day!!!
Oh Carol, dear Carol,
It's this Catherine lass again!
The one who's got you up the wall,
The flippin' telephone pain!
I've had you on the phone a lot,
Swapping this and that and the other!
Oh dear me, what can I do…
I think I need me mother!!!
Now I need an operation,
Goodness gracious me!
But we keep having to cancel it,
Cos I'm up the pole you see!
First it was all set up…
And I was ready for the biz!
Then I had a little problem,
And it got me in a tiz!
So we set another date up!
And I got my head round that!
Then we had to cancel once again!
Oh damn it Carol, oh drat!!!
Meanwhile I got this tumour…
Oh yes, my tumour three!
And now that needs removing too!
Oh goodness gracious me!
All these operations dear Carol,
Are driving me up the wall!
And every time I have a crisis,
I always give you a call!
Shouting;
‘Carol, I've got a problem!
All about me tumour!
I think the reason is;
To make me have a sense of humour!'
So now another problem…
Got in the way of this with Taffy!
I guess I have to say it Carol,
It's hit and miss with this poet; Cathy!
So the procedure once again,
Was set for just next week!
But alas my neck got knackered,
And no solace can I seek!
You see, I need this sorted out,
To get another on its way,
And I have to be quite honest here!
I'm really not at all ok!
You changed it to the 1st of October,
And that really is quite quick!!
We will get that under way, again…
As long as I don't get sick!!
Then on the 8th a few days later,
Another tumour is under way,
Cos this body is a pain in the rear!
I am told this every day!
So I need a body transplant Carol!
Can you fit me in for one of those?
Nah, I guess you cant do that!
But it was worth a try I suppose!
Oh, and then I need another one,
To sort the other out!
Oh blimey me dear Carol,
Can I give you another shout?
Meanwhile I wont bother you,
Cos I know I'm a pain in the bum,
Oh dear me, dear Carol…
Forgive my silly little pun!!
So thank you for putting up with me!
As only you can do!
And here's a little thank you ode,
Most especially for you!!