His line of work was a reporter in London
Journalistic voyages from here to there
In desperate need of a life-enhancing feature
This new ‘brief' would require some flair
He was to be placed in the camera spotlight
And told to run amok with no expense spared
To live as if he were a woman
A feminine world he was about to share
I must mention much to his relief and manly stature,
Though possibly spoiling some of our mirth
A mini skirt and high fashion boots wouldn't be employed
They couldn't find any to fit his wide girth
That evening he had arranged to meet a mate in a bar
Before that he had to race all the way home
A facial, moisturiser, foundation and mascara,
He finally sat down for a drink with a groan
His friend was on the verge of ordering a pint for each
But our hunky reporter had other ideas
He plumped for an anisette and pineapple cocktail
And his bud couldn't quite believe his ears
Their usual chat would be all about football
Who's the top of the league and who's not
While the man with the notepad and pencil
Wanted to chat about the new cologne he'd got
Two young girls appeared and sat over the other side
And our two friends would usually go over to leer
Instead Mr Reporter wanted to discuss his deepest feelings
And Mr Friend turned his nose up to sneer
Fifty minutes of this and his fellow worker
Couldn't take any more and suggested they go
But first he had to escort his pal home
In case he bumped into a madman he didn't know
Everywhere he went he felt was geared up for women
He felt isolated and couldn't handle the stress
He wrote an article full of admiration for the ‘she' species
And now he's hankering to buy a new dress