Having just run for five miles to nowhere
Though it's raining I didn't even get wet
I was thrashing about on a treadmill at the gym
One of the ghastliest implements I've ever met!
Input all your information to the data box
Stand back and take your last breath of joy
Embark onto this ogre and press the button
Beware..…..because this isn't a toy!
Before you know it your legs are in action
Baby steps are catapulted up a grade or two
In minutes you are heaving and gasping
Hanging on the rails and wondering what to do!
Just before you flew off and alighted without expecting
The instructor came along and saw your face burning red
He switched that darned thing to a snails pace
You felt the hot air roll about in your head!
He kindly suggested a turn on the stepper
“Oh, that'll be easy” I mistakenly thought to myself
Have you ever had the opportunity to climb up and down non-stop
Then please………don't do it to yourself!
I decided yoga would be my cup of tea in the end
A nice lie down on the floor on a mat
‘Cept the teacher had many other ideas
Would I like to get into a lotus?
No I wouldn't