What A Palava At Tilly's!

Well, I went to Tilly's,
To have a little chat,
We had a smashing time,
Till and her mate cat.

When I went in the house,
She was in a flap or two,
She could smell some burning,
And didn't know what to do?

The electric plug in her wall,
Was flamin' well ruddy hot,
I pulled it from the socket,
And what a fright I got!

It burnt me flippin' finger,
It was totally red hot!
And now I've got a hole there,
Tilly should be ruddy shot!

It melted me poor flesh,
And it hurt really bad,
Scarred for life, oh, what strife,
Its made me really sad!

Then Tilly cut her finger,
And bled all over the floor,
We were both crying our eyes out,
We couldn't take no more!

I was sitting on the floor,
Sorting out the mess,
For the fire on the wall,
And you will never guess...?

We laughed our feckin heads off,
We were rolling round the floor,
And I couldn't get up without help,
I couldn't take no more.

We both had aching bellies,
Our ribs hurt really bad,
Yes, I have to say it,
Tilly peed again, (so sad)!

She's got a leather swivel chair,
Its waterproof, (so she said),
I told her, 'Till, you're naughty!'
'You should wear a nappy instead!'

She got me up off the floor,
After I fixed her fire,
It was a total mess,
It was all melted into the wire!

10 to 15 minutes later,
I said she'd have had a fire,
Ready to arc, it would spark,
All cos of a bare, burnt wire.

Well, we had such a laugh,
And we're gona do it again,
But I'm wearing protective gloves,
I'm not burning me fingers again!

© Catherine Inglesby 2001

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