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Retirement
The sand in the hourglass continues falling, even though I don't wish to hasten a single grain;
There's still a part of me that's looking to the horizon of my retirement from the Paper Mill.
It is like the horse reaching through the fence to the greener grass on the other side.
Is it the door into the fullness of life, finally having the time to dance the dance?
Leaving behind the mind numbing rotation of shifts, the effects of the chemicals, the gases.
But I see the vulture waiting for his next meal… Patience, he says.
In a swirl of emotions I plan for my future separated from this job.
I worry about insurance and ask will there be enough money to live on.
I will miss my co-workers without a doubt, as they have become my extended family and my friends.
As I plan to walk away into the bright mist of retirement, a part of me wants to look back to see;
If I will be missed, or will I even be remembered, as someone new steps up into my job.
I now hear the vulture screeching in the tree… Patience, he says.
The question will be, What will give meaning and value to my life?
As my hair falls out and my wrinkles get deeper, time passes without my permission.
That bright sunny day I have dreamed of for thirty some years is finally here.
This is the reward that has came after surrendering so many holidays to work.
As I approach the sunlight, I taste the fear as well as the excitement of a new life.
I can smell the vulture's stench of death… Patience, he says.
As I pass through the gate swiping my employee card that last time,
Suddenly, I have my life given back; I now have the freedom to choose.
I can simply kick back to enjoy the retirement that I so justly deserve.
Maybe I'll meet the guys at Hardee's, or go play golf with ole' Joe.
I'm tempted to throw away that evil alarm clock, grow my beard down to my knees.
The vulture begins it's circle, it won't be long now….Patience, he says.
I quickly realize I'm dying, killing myself with the excess of wasted time.
I look into my heart and see others that I can serve through using my day to volunteer.
I think of Marvin Nida's legacy of service, yes, this is how retirement should be spent.
So many needs in this community, so little time to give… so many needs.
Life becomes fuller and richer than I ever thought it could; the grass is greener on this side!
The vulture grumbles, lands back in the tree to wait… Patience, he says, Patience.
20Dec08
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