The 3 wise kings were not that wise
Which to be honest, is no surprise
Many years ago they followed a star
In the hope of finding a famous bazaar
For one King who was dyslexic
Didn't realise it was all a trick
The jester in his Palace said
That in a manger a baby will rest his sweet head
"The Son of Man will be born soon"
"Just follow the brightest star by the moon"
The Jester was of course only jesting
But the King saw this as the Lord testing
He sent word out to his mate
Another King who lived in another state
Of course the story got muddled on the way
As he was told to head to the UK
The two Kings met up and added a third
All around the world this story was heard
Along the way they realised they needed gifts
One said "how about a pair of fake plastic tits?"
So one gift was chosen and now they needed another
They passed through Africa and adopted him a brother
Now all they needed was a final present
So they got him a slave, a hillbilly peasant
They travelled long and they travelled far
On camels, although they could have taken a car
They bared unbearable courage, and broke every law
Passing border controls and immigration in the year 1974
They used the stars to guide them on this magical journey
But stars are not easy to see when your beer glass is empty
So sadly they got lost and the real miracle they missed
As they ended up in West London, a place called Hammersmith
My mum always said something wierd happened that day
When she asked three odd looking men to go away
It was also a bit odd why a young African boy
Would appear at times to play with my toy
It was odder still when a man came along
Said he was my slave and sang me a song
But one thing as a child which had me in fits
Was this toy I had, fake plastic tits!
