I sit here eating ready salted Pringles
Watching the adverts. Listening to jingles
My flat has all mod cons and is clean
The jingles go in tune with my washing machine
I work Monday to Friday, 9 to 5.30
For a well known insurance company
It pays the rent and a few beers too
And on Fridays I have a curry, a vindaloo
I am single, but it's ok
My last girlfriend went away
But these things happen, can't be helped
I'm just glad, love I've felt
I have a cat, he's a tabby
He's called Vendetta, my feline buddy
I'm just a regular guy in a regular city
You'd never guess I can live for infinity
Never guess I'm to blame for the missing folks
As I laugh along with the homeless jokes
Never guess what work a dentist can do
When told “do it or I'll kill you!”
Not that I am evil or plan to hurt yer
I always have a ‘thing' about the word ‘murder'
You won't rise again as a zombie like they say
You'll just die and pass away
Your body won't be wasted, I'll eat the lot
I hate wasting food; it's a shame to rot
Vampires, monsters demons, I have all names
Those evil creatures that live in the drains
I don't really know what I am?
But I very much look like a man
Just born from a different time
Different outlook on what you call crime
My insides are different my mind is too
But all in all I'm just like you
I play sport, watch TV and laugh at jokes
I drink beer, enjoy sex, and love my folks
I have ambitions and emotions and needs
Smile with the warmth of a summer breeze
It's just I have different diet
And head out at night when all is quiet
I select the weak or criminally insane
Those in which society has no name
Ones that won't be missed
And evaporate like the mist
Then as the sun rises I go to work
Admittedly with a smirk
But come one? what's creature sopposed to do?
When he goes about his life, living amongst you!
