All my life I wanted one thing,
To find out in life what I was missing.
I conquered so much throughout the course of my time,
Although I cannot figure out why the devil enters in and tries to destroy my mind.
I've been so strong at least what I believed to be strong,
Could I have been set in my ways and actually been wrong?
To be the weakest of them all,
I utter to think of myself as I stumble and fall.
All I can do now is wake up and go,
I am unable to see as it starts to show.
My venture through life is coming to a startling halt,
In my independence I have not depended on anyone and I know it's my fault.
To be so knowledgeable but yet in still so dumb,
I might as well cut off my fingers as to incorporate being numb.
Take life for what it is…just a piece of a place within fragment of times,
Do not apologize, as I fully understand the mental state that haunts and that it binds.
I was once a whole but now all broken a part,
Rest assured it is of the knowing that I do possess a heart.
I've been in the spirit that most do not respect,
My instincts are unmentionable for it is not this life that I was meant.
To seek a life where there is neither misery nor hate,
I now accept all that is given from my destruction of fate.
Melting away like an ice cube on a warm sunny day,
Will anything help me now…will it stop if I pray?
Dear Lord, hear me as I lean into my call,
I know I've been wrong but do you forgive me at all?
I try so hard to do what is right,
I do this with all my will and all of my might.
I ask for a sanction that might help to get me through,
As I apply all my wisdom that was instilled in me through you.
Would you consider my pain as payment for my loss?
I rebuked my powers not knowing the final cost.
I do not know how to apologize for the loss of my faith,
I've just been through so much that at times I cannot bear to live in this place.
I see no end to the pain in my heart,
This life has shattered and torn me apart.
Help me to find some peace so that I may continue to live,
I ask with all being considered, “Can you forgive?”
It is in this life that I was meant to serve the powers that be,
Just send me a sign to let me know you didn't forget about me…