author3877 To my friends at Poetry Poem
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My son Ronald died of cancer on the day before Mother's Day in 2015, 11 years after his brother, my son Steven, died after a massive heart attack. Of course I remember how upset I was after Steve died and how I broke out in hives and couldn't stop crying. Some of my dear ones were wonderful, but some others seemed to tutn away from me. So when Ronnie died, I made up my mind to be brave and to SMILE. So there I was with a smile on my face and an empty heart, because I didn't want to hurt any of the many people who loved him. Turns out that this was a big mistake, because the person who can't stop hurting now is my own self. Yes, I know that God is with me. I pray to Him and and believe in Him with all my heart. But I didn't do myself or anyone else any good by trying so hard to conceal the pain rather than allowing it to come the surface and begin to heal. I do have some loved ones who understand me at this point and I hope that my poetry friends will understand why I haven't communicated well on these pages for the last two years. Yes, I had skin cancer and successful surgery for an eye infection that could have blinded me, but my biggest problem was trying to put on a big brave front when I should have trusted people to help me as I had always tried to help others. May God bless all of you. Love, Annette