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Shaking in your soul
Trying to make it right
Pretending it's okay
Worried about the night
Think you're all but gone
Stuff put out it stinks
Holding on to God as you're standing on the brink.

There's a reason for you
Or you would be gone
Writing this stupid poetry
Trying to turn life back on
Some days it feels so futile
Seem to be in trouble
Let it take you over
Not moving action into place
So much anxiety
It's more than you can seem to face
And you go on because you're still alive.

Get into the bubble wrap of it
Christmas village to my daughter
Find a box that's big enough
Trying to do what I ought to
Scares the hell out of me
So far behind it ought to end
Somehow, have to deal with problems
I am not dead yet AMEN

Mercy come to me in waves please
Rock me as a boat on high seas
Struggling to just stay afloat
Don't let ship sink that's all she wrote
Turn the oceans into streams
Please God take away the seem-ing-ly
Shaking feeling, let me go on to keep dealing

With this life
I have some family
Have some friends
Don't really want my life to end
Just so scared where's my faith
God ain't going to give me more to deal with
Than can be replaced
Go on now back to working
Forget the turmoil in there lurking
About what bill to pay
What I should do
Paralyzing true inside
Go back into your cave and hide.

Not doing well in this old age
Sometimes can barely walk
I didn't plan it being this way
At 56 or any day
That it would feel so shaky
The kind of achy-breaky
That just wants you to die
So you look up to the sky
To the heaven's above
You go on with the bubble wrap
Trust in God's love
To pull you through
The moments of anxiety that take away the you.

12/15/2012 1604PST cj

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