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Here I am

I am trying.
I am not perfect and I mess up a lot.
I love hard.
I am afraid.
Afraid to be alone.
Afraid to be without her.
I am a horrible being.
I feel horrible.
I thought I was saying thank you by honoring the agreement.
I got wrapped up in a silly statement.
Everything was good for me until he said you were taking care of me.
I started thinking about how you were taking care of me.
I started to think I was a burden on you and you were tolerating me.
I didn't seek shelter in another this time, nor did I speak to you.  
I let the feelings boil.
Then I exploded for no reason.
I lost it. Leading me to cause me to lose it all.
I wouldn't blame you if you took it all away.
I am the blame.
I did this.
I am a horrible person.
I did this to you.
I hurt you.
I further broke you.
And I've lost you forever.
You've taken your presence.
Your conversing.
Your texts and calls.
You left me alone. But when you explained how I made you feel, my actions were asking for it.
Im not a good person.
My heart...it's made of nothing.
I am full of darkness.
I pray soon I can return to where I came from....
I pray soon I'll be returned to nothing.
This feeling is unlike anything else.
Just take me far away where I can't hurt anyone else.

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Here I am