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Self sabotage

I miss her.
I miss them kids.
I miss us all being together.
Why am I like this?
Why do I fumble everything I actually want?
Then sit up here stuck on stupid cause I make emotional decisions
They don't even be what I want
I just self sabotage....
Then have to start all the way back over
Why can't I be a healthy partner
Do I need to be toxic?
Is it me that needs the drama?
These bad habits of doing whatever without concern to whom it hurts
What's my problem?
Am I a psychopath

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Self sabotage