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I dare not

I dare not say I miss you.
I was very wrong to leave.
To say the words I've said.
You're in every dream.
You're in every single song.
You're in every thought that runs through my head.
That night my chest was so tight.
You were disconnecting from me
It felt like fire
I miss your soul.
I miss the kids.
I can't even go through my pictures anymore.
I butchered it.
I butchered our family.
I miss you.
I just felt like you were settling for me.
Like I was dead weight. Holding you down.
I lost it.
I made you suffer through that.
Now I don't really know what to do.
Just take it all in as if comes.

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I dare not