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What's sleep when you aren't with the one you love?

We used to have the hard conversations...
We used to be open.
We used to be each other's hug.
We used to be one another's smile in the dark places.
I forgot that.
I forgot to show you love.
Keep showing you love.
Keep showing you I wanted you.
Only you.
It was never about leaving to run the streets.
Or about my desire for another.
Truth....you were the only one I desired.
Whenever we got closer it made me spazz a bit.
I was scared to lose you.
Scared to lose pieces of you....
Then I left.
Running scared.
You know that day you came to my house I should've just embraced you.
I shouldn't have run away.
At least there would be a chance.
I read back through our messages.
Can't bring myself to delete em.
Realized that I only took pics so you could see me
So I don't take them anymore now.
I don't like the way I look. Sad but also true.
Barely sleep.
Gained 60 pounds.
Being full is some kinda comfort until it's not.
I miss the family we created.
I wasn't perfect but I never should've given up on us.
On you.
On our partnership.
I know there's no going back now.
I still miss us tho.
I miss everything.
The music.
The color.
You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I should've done everything I could've to stay with you.

Comment On This Poem ---
What`s sleep when you aren`t with the one you love?