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Fantasy vs. reality...

I miss being her lover.
She was every genre of music in a perfectly blended song.
Her layers.
She wasn't trying to control me.
She was trying to help me build me up.
She was nurturing me.
She wasn't watching my every move,
She just wanted me around.
I mistook every gesture she had given.
She was really taking care of me.
She was my lifeline.
My safety.
She was mine....
Not to be possessed but to be treated with respect and loved.
Not to be left behind but to be cared for.
I dropped the ball.
When she needed me I chose to be selfish.
Ignorant to all the signs.
Stuck in my own mind.
I wasted so much time.
Too much.
I wish I could just get back a second.
It would feel like forever.
Now it's just memories.
Pictures I can't bring myself to see.
Pictures I'll never delete.
One day I'll forgive myself for leaving.
Moving in my emotions instead of logic.
Living in some kind of fantasy....
Missing the reality.
One day.

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Fantasy vs. reality...