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How I wake up....

You ever miss somebody in their entirety.
Like miss simple things.
I know I talk about it a lot but I'm trying to grow to the okay stage
Being ok without seeing you.
Being ok without hearing your voice.
I'm trying to be ok.
I even miss when you would leave and then say in a minute.
I always knew you would text me or call me.
I always knew you were coming back home.
I knew better.
Than to leave.
I felt it as soon as I was on the other side of the door without keys.
I knew you were my soulmate.
Not a day goes by that I don't see your smile in my head.
Reminiscent of your touch.
Regretful that I left you when you were sick.
Remorseful that I left the kids.
I'm afraid I will miss you forever.
It never goes away.
Wondering what you're doing....
Thinking about how your day was....
Hoping you slept well.
Really miss making you coffee.
Doing small things for you.
Getting things for you.
Small gestures that made big smiles.
Day trips.
Singing to that super loud speaker.
Or in the car headed home from wherever we went.
I miss the time we spent.
Truly miss giving you love.
Not just physically but emotionally and mentally loving on you.
Manipulating you was never a thought.
I just wanted to love you.
I still miss you.
I still think about you.
Holidays even tho neither of us celebrate most of them.....
We were always together.
I truly miss that bond.
You were the blessing.
I hope you are ok.
Sad that I can't do more for you.


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How I wake up....